I got a message from my best friend, Priti that told that she left a note in a yellow paper in my bag. I was walking on a busway bridge on my way home. I looked for the note and I found it. It brought tears in my eyes when I read it: “Pasti maksud sebenernya lo yg kecewa kan Cel, bukan ie? Padahal harusnya gw pulang bareng lo, tp gw malah milih ketemu cumi. Maaf ya gw nyebelin, tp gw yakin lo bs ngerti =)”
We have been friends since we were in Junior High School. We shared almost 11 years of laughs and tears together. We also shared the same feeling to one guy in JHS. Ahaha.. Yeah, we liked that same guy, but she didn’t know about it until we finished JHS. We shared happiness, stories, ideas, dreams, silly things, doubts, sadness, almost everything. There’s nothing I didn’t tell her. She’s like my diary and also I am for her.
I can read her mind and she can read mine, too. I can imagine what she will do if she faces a certain situation or if she meets someone new and it was true. I sometimes can put myself in her shoes just because strangely we often faced the same circumstances, and so did she. We have been through things together since we were silly teenagers.
She is a Libra girl. We both like to read people characteristics base on their zodiac sign. If one of us likes a guy, the other will ask his zodiac sign before judge him. If we met someone new or get involve with someone, each of us will also ask his zodiac sign. Haha.. Silly and shallow, isn’t it? But this is one of many things that makes us compact.
We live miles away. I live in Jakarta and she lives in Jogjakarta. She before lived in Bandung after she graduated from Senior High School. We didn’t even go to the same SHS. We rarely met each other, but distance seems can’t separate us.
Love her is like nature for me. This is like when you love your own family. No one asked you to love them, but you just love them. That’s simple.
She asked me this noon, “If someone ask you, ‘do you love Priti’, what will be your answer?” — as a best friend of course.
I replied, “Yes, of course.”
“Nah! I do love you also. But I don’t know how to describe this feeling. Love for a best friend. It’s like I don’t know how to describe how I love my siblings. It just happened,” she said. “I can describe my feeling for a guy I love, but I can’t describe my feeling for my friends or my family,” she added.
For me, it is. I don’t know how to describe it either, but I can feel it. And I just want to tell her this. She just have to feel it.
I felt this feeling again when I read her note just now. I cried because what she wrote was almost true. I was a little disappointed with her, but I couldn’t mad at her. It was actually not because I can’t made at her, but it was because I didn’t want to. I am way too understand her until I can accept whatever reasons she gave to convince me. I was selfish and she was, too. We both sometimes feel like the world is only spinning for each of us. Sometime it’s only for me and sometime it’s only for her and at that time, it was only spinning for her. But I was totally understand. Is it weird if I said that I enjoyed the feeling? I was. I enjoyed every time she talked about her stories, her love-life. I even enjoyed her short-memory-syndrome. But I also enjoyed talking about myself, the way she listened to me even if I knew she will forget some not-too-important things for her which were maybe important to me.
We talked about almost everything, start from silly girl things, celebrities, gossips, foods, movies, musics, guys, love, religions, until we talked about God and universe. I’m a little bit dominant and she is a little bit passive. I can be a steer for her and she can be a break pedal for me. But we can exchange position.
We were sometimes argue each other, but it was me who were often criticism her. I didn’t always like her and she didn’t always like me either. But she was never ever mad at me. Never! Even if I did stupid things that made her laugh, even if I was so annoying that made her cry, even if I made wrong decision that made her worried, she just sat and watched me. She told me if only I was about to cross the line.
I sometimes felt that I was protesting and complaining about her this and that too much. But I did it because I wanted the best for her. I just wanted her to be happy.
How could you expect more from your best friend if you have her for half of your life? This is what I feel. Maybe God made a mistake when He created her. She should be my twin or my soul-sister. That was why He made up His mistake by making her my best friend, a sister whom I can choose.
So for you, Prit, this is what I feel about having you as a best friend and also a sister in my life. I maybe haven’t thanks to you enough to show how grateful I am. I have never ever regretted to choose you over ‘that same guy’. I chose the right option. You knew it.
One thing, you don’t have to describe your feeling about love to anyone. It’s a felling. What you need to do is just feel it! 🙂
I love you,
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